My Apologies
I was challenged this week by someone who had read one of my blog posts, and thought that is was a touch judgmental. The post in question is Doggy Day Care, in which I comment on the tendency for us (i.e. me) to leave things out, and put off until later what I should do right away, if only I were motivated enough. I would like to first and foremost say that I often (almost always) write about myself, and my experiences. So, when I included the term “lazy” in my blog, I was truthfully referring to me, and expecting people to relate, not feel condemned. However, as my husband pointed out on our late night walk, I’m not Dr. Phil, and people read my blog to be motivated, not judged.
So, I apologize to anyone who may have taken that comment as a personal attack. I do believe that we often lack motivation to get things done, and although some may read into it that it is laziness (as I did initially in myself), upon further reflection, I actually believe that it is because we are over committed! I am the queen of over commitment. I do too much, and I say “yes” to far too many things. This has been slightly curbed since I got married, as my husband helps to remind me that I can’t do it all, but I believe that there are many of us who simply do too much. So, at the end of the day, when I throw my bags on floor and flop down on the couch, it’s simply because I’m overwhelmed. I’ve been “going” all day, and I need a break. Yes, I could take 5 minutes and put things away, but that takes more effort, effort that has been maxed out. Granted, my motivation is gearing up with the new addition to our family. Seeing as I’m known to over commit, the logical conclusion was to get a dog.
This handsome dog’s name is Tipper 
He loves my red Olympic mittens, and socks. He’s a big guy, so he can reach things on counters, although we’re discouraging that. However, my motivation to tidy up is high, as I don’t want him to eat anything else (which he has been known to do).
As with anything in life, we need motivation, but if we’re splitting our resources, we are bound to lack the energy to do the things we don’t necessarily enjoy (exercising, tidying up, dishes, etc.). As I heard last week, sometimes we need to say no to the good stuff, in order to be able to say yes to the great stuff.
Do you have a tendency to over commit?
This is me to a T!! With 4 kids to run after, school councils to sit on and write minutes for, church groups to work on it never ends and gets overwhelming!!
So, how do we over achievers know when to say no?
Aw…..what a love! He certainly doesn’t look like he would misbehave.
Nothing like a dog to force you to pick up your stuff! And rethink where you store it. And just when you think you’ve solved all the problems, they find another room in the house to focus on…..
I’m definitely growing out of my tendency to overcommit. The whole pregnancy thing has pretty much knocked me out, energy-wise, so I’m trying to adjust accordingly!
There’s a thought. In order for me to start saying no, I’ll just get pregnant! Hmm… Something tells me that will entail a lot more work
Thanks!
[...] – I’ve written a response to some constructive criticism here. [...]
I over commit too, and I have no dog, nor full-time business at the moment. Part of it I think is cultural, that is women are expected to be the home “doers”: we do all the home stuff, do the emotional stuff frequently and when asked have a hard time saying “No!” because we think that means we’re not doing, we’re undoing or being selfish.
If I realized up front that being involved with X or Y would mean I’d just committed myself to the 300th hour of stuff in a week I’d have to do, I’d just say no. But I kid myself that “I’ll have time.”
Well, I don’t. And I don’t have a paying job, don’t have a kid, etc. but I’ve still got LOTS to do.
On the other hand? My neighbor & I have been talking about her hosting a potluck and floating the idea to the neighbors that we get together and do a town-oriented work day, sometime this year. (The jobs we’re talking about had been done by inmates, the state stopped the program and replacing them will cost our town $.)
The potluck idea was hers. The town work day was mine, and I conceived of it as a ONE DAY event.
Let’s hope it will stay that way!
Liz, I love your blog and apologies were not needed. We all have moments of “laziness”. I am an organizer too and some days after being in a clients house for hours sorting and systemizing, I come home and just don’t lift a finger the whole night.
The bonus of getting organized and having a system though is that it is much faster to get back on track, when you do have a day or so of not putting things away.
All the best with Tipper and I look forward to the baby stories. Mine are teenagers now and reading your stories of early marriage and family planning brings back so many wonderful memories!
Thank you SO much Kelly! I really appreciate it